You know, I’ve been living for 17 years now and I can say I’ve learnt so much about life, about relationships and about how meaningful life is in summation.

I know all these things I’ve acquired will never be enough. I’ve also learnt that life is like a movie. The only difference there is between them is that in movies, you get to experience climax, falling action and happy ending while in reality, you only get to experience rising action. You never know if you’ve reached the climax. Some people don’t even get to realize how great life is.

I also learned that “getting by” will never be enough to get through life. You will always get to the pont that you’ll just have to say, “I’ve had enough.” I learned that life goes on. That it won’t stop for you, wait for you to get a grip. It’ll move on, with or without you.

Just like in relationships, “I’ve had enough.” I’ve had enough of drama, pain, giving, sacrificing, taking it all in. I know I’ve been really a shit head these past few months and I am admitting it. I can’t have someone dictating me who I should be friends with, who I shouldn’t be mingling with. I AM SO SICK OF BEING BOSSED AROUND. I know I used to say that in a relationship, I’d love to the one being bossed around than the one bossing around —- but man, I CAN ONLY GO FOR SO LONG. I’m only human.

YOU:

I know you’ve had your trauma. I get it. You can already stop rubbing it in. I’m not stupid for you to continually explain how scared you are. And I’m not deaf for you to always bring it up. And I’m not insensitive for you to make me feel like I am such a mean person, oh yeah, make it meanest person ever. YEAH I GET IT, SO SHUT IT. MOVE ON.

HOW WILL WE EVER BE AT OUR HAPPIEST IF YOU KEEP ON LOOKING BACK? HOW CAN WE BE AT OUR SWEETEST WHEN YOU KEEP ON THINKING BACK? HOW CAN I SHOW THAT I CAN BE A BETTER PERSON IF YOU KEEP ON LOOKING AT WHO I WAS BACK THEN?

TELL ME, HOW WILL I BE ENOUGH FOR YOU NOW?